


only ones who know

by celestialmusings



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Awkward Flirting, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Coincidences, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Slow Burn Rey/Kylo Ren, angst angst angst, arctic monkeys soundtrack, ben solo is Soft, ben solo is pure, fate is a son of a b, force bond irl, inspired by lots of reylo centered tweets, my au crackbaby, rey and kylo besties for life??, rey is a teenager, rey on the other hand ...
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-19
Updated: 2018-06-24
Packaged: 2019-05-09 01:11:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14706305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celestialmusings/pseuds/celestialmusings
Summary: ben solo never believed in angels until he saw one shyly glancing back at him in coruscant café.rey kanata never believed in love at first sight until she saw that man leaning against the counter, waiting for his coffee.both ben and rey curse themselves for pining for someone that would never be interested in them. both just happen to be wrong.





	1. saw her standing there

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone!! i haven't written in a really long time so this is my first fic, i'm sorry for any errors or typos because i typed it up on my phone. i've been so inspired by all these amazing reylo AU fics + tweets that i just had to write this (it was only a matter of time to be honest). i intend for this to be a continued series, but i'm not sure how often i can update as i plan to make each chapter quite long. please leave a comment/like if you enjoy!!! ♡

The soft chime of a bell rang out as Ben Solo pushed open the door of Coruscant Café. The barista, recognizing his eyes from his regular morning visits, gave him a knowing smile.

Ben Solo ordered his drink, not hesitating to read the menu. He ordered the same thing every morning - a grande café mocha, usually around 7:05. 

Ben Solo would take his drink, say thank you, and head left down the street to the First Order Design Firm he worked for. He would sip it occasionally, not stopping while he walked down the busy city streets, one earbud in, listening to Debussy or a recording of Charles Bukowski’s spoken word. He would arrive at work, set his belongings down on his desk, take an earbud out, and throw himself into his designs. Then he’d pack up, walk past the closed café, and stumble into his apartment late at night, sleepy eyed and half-content. Ben Solo would fall into bed, wake at 6, and get another grande café mocha.

Except Ben Solo never got to work that day - that sunny wednesday morning in April.

He drummed his fingers against the wooden table, reclining in his seat while waiting for his coffee. The bell chimed again, and for a moment, everything still seemed normal.

And then Ben Solo lost his mind at the girl in the blue sundress.

She was a young girl that could pass for several years older, but he could spot the youth in her eyes, which were large and almond set, doe brown and lined in long, heavy lashes, which gazed over at him curiously and analytically. Dark brows, with a hint of thickness, pulled together just slightly in the inquisitive expression. Quite tan and flawless with only the occasional freckle was her skin, dewy and glowing warmly around the cheeks. The hair, parted in the middle, hung down in thin waves of fawn brown, ending abruptly at the shoulder blades, which poked out just a little. Her eyes fell down, trailing to a precise button nose, slight, thin rose colored lips, pursed. She hinted a smile and his heart leapt from his chest at the girl, who glittered like snow on black velvet, like the setting sun in a summer blue sky. She bit her lip and looked down at her shoes once more.

He shouldn’t do this. He knows better than this. But the way she looks makes his brain go fuzzy, his stomach drop, imagination bloom a lush garden of thought. Thought of what he would say to her to make her smile, where they would go on dates together, what she would look like in the summertime, golden tan and glowing even more than she was now. 

He’s staring at her: she feels pinned under his lasting gaze, as a helpless rabbit does when found by the hawk. Her mind is racing - she needs to stop making this into a bigger deal than it is. He’s probably not even looking at her, or maybe there’s something the matter with her. He looks much older than her, maybe twice her age, and would never in this universe be interested in some girl like her. She cannot care though - all she can imagine is his enormous hands meeting her cheek, or trailing gently up her thighs. His dark tousled curls tickling her face as they kissed, the softness of his lips, the warmth of his broad, muscular chest under her hands as he drew her close. she felt intoxicated, drawn by the magnetism. His eyes, his deep eyes seemed to burn through her, staring her down and keeping her under a spell. But there was a softness to them - not a predator, but some gleam that offered a hint of gentle calm. She could feel her mind grow heavy with thoughts of him carrying her to bed, grabbing her waist with forceful grip and whispering things into her ear. She felt her cheeks flush at the thought, and tried to find anything else to focus on.

Christ. He had blown it. Not even eight a.m. and he had already victimized a most definitely underage girl through an unrequited staring contest match. _Good going, Ben. Real fucking smooth._ He drummed his fingers on the counter, anxious to get his drink and get out of there as soon as possible.

_Stupid brain. Unable to compute anything. God, had she always been this attracted to older men way out of her league?_ He had definitely looked away, and her brain of mush was beginning to second guess whether he had even glanced at her in the first place. He had lost interest quickly, no doubt. She swallowed hard, trying to dispel the dry lump of nerves in her throat, and waited for the café mocha to make its way to her. She looked around innocently, trying her best to ignore thoughts of this man pinning her down and kissing her neck. _Get it together, Rey._

“Grande café mocha?” the barista called out, shoving the cup forward on the pickup counter. Rey gave a little exhale of relief and went to grab it when -

A large, familiar hand settled around the cup, and Rey for a moment was too stunned to realize whose hand it was. Her eyes flicked up instinctively and met his own deep brown, which seemed perplexed and nervous in their own accord.

“I’m sorry, I- I think we ordered the same drink?” he stuttered out, avoiding looking at her young face. She didn’t have any time to say it was okay when he gave another small “oh, I’m sorry,” and put the drink down back on the counter. _God fucking damn it, you stupid moron,_ his brain hissed to him. He felt paralyzed, and in love, and a little sweaty. 

Rey hurt as she watched him fumble over his words - he was still so absolutely handsome, even while awkward. He set the drink back down, and alarms sounded in her head. _Do I just take it from him?_

“No, it’s okay, you ordered before me. it was just a misunderstanding.” She offered a bright smile, hoping to see him return it. Instead, he looked increasingly worried.

“ _NO_ ,” he shouted, quickly recognizing the eagerness and drawing it back to a “I mean, uh, no - you deserve to have it, please take it. I don’t mind waiting another minute or two.” He tripped over his words, the anxiety creeping into each one and heightening his tone of urgency.

“Okay,” she conceded, taking the warm cup in her hands. She felt at a loss. This couldn’t be it - she couldn’t walk out now and leave the most beautiful, nervous man she had ever laid eyes on. 

“Maybe I could stay and wait with you,” she blurted quickly. _Waiting for him? Did she always sound this desperate?_ “I mean, it’s the least I can do.” 

His eyes perked up as he moved his gaze from the floor to her face. He could pick her up and spin her around right there, kiss the rosy pink of her lips. He didn’t care about his drink anymore - he would give up overpriced coffee for her any day. He tried his best to pull himself out of his fantasies of frolicking through meadows and having picnics to bring himself back to the present.

_Quit it! Fucking talk to the poor girl_. She did look quite uncomfortable, standing there, clutching her untouched coffee, seeming to stare at the wall art to entertain herself. He had to say something, or he would completely embarrass himself. 

“So...” he began, at a loss of what to say but motivated by an urge to say anything. “What br—“

“Grande café mocha?” the barista set down another identical cup in front of them, eyeing the two as she did so.

His sentence trailed off as he glanced at the loathsome drink, which had started a conversation just as soon as it had ended one. There was a wall of silent understanding growing between them as they both scrambled to think of a way to approach the other. He realized suddenly that he probably looked like a _doofus_ standing there and glaring at it, and grabbed it quickly. He stole another look at the girl, who sweetly waited for him, looking extremely bored but nonetheless patient.

“Well. Thank you for waiting.” Ben didn’t know what to do, and a beat skipped between them.

“It was no problem. I was happy to,” she grinned at him again. This time, it was requited, and Rey felt her heart leap with joy. His face seemed to light up, and for just a moment it felt right, as if they had known each other for years and that this was just a normal day for them.

Her fantasies were cut short as he stuck out a hand to her to shake. 

_A handshake?_

She felt just a tad mortified. _This was not going to end like this._

He felt incredibly lame holding his hand out like this. The seconds that elapsed between the sad realization on her soft face and her motion toward him exuded a mutual remorse as they scrambled to fix their salutation.

Without thinking, Rey placed her small hand in his massive one, taking him by surprise as he glanced up at her. she tried to ignore her sweating palms as she spoke.

“I didn’t catch your name.”

Ben’s mouth was dry. He was holding hands with a girl. 

“Ben.”

And she smiled again. She was really going to kill him.

“Hi, Ben. My name is Rey.”

Correction: Rey was really going to kill him.

The expression on his face after she had rejected his handshake morphed into something of disbelief and bewilderment that made Rey’s stomach twist up. She felt undeniably stupid, but she couldn’t just let this go.

“Um,” she started again, looking at the floor to avoid his intense gaze. “Would you like to, uh, to sit and talk? Here? Or somewhere else?” she was panicking. When he took longer than a millisecond to respond, she began to shake her head, stammering out a, “It’s okay, you’re probably busy, It’s okay, I’m sorry.” 

He was in utter disbelief. what had he done right in the universe that a pretty young girl wanted to talk to _him_ , an awkward, gangly loser who steals drinks and can’t muster up the courage to be polite? He realized that her tiny hand was still dwarfed in his, sheepishly looked at it and lowered the pair so that it was of normal, hand-holding height. She was so sweet, he didn’t care that he had places to be and had important meetings to attend. she looked ashamed and embarrassed, so he lead her by the hand and walked her over to the corner booth of the café. 

_This was really happening_. Rey slide into the booth seat opposite to the man, setting her identical drink down on the counter. She smoothed out the skirt of her sundress and flicker her hair around anxiously in attempts to straighten her appearance. He crammed into the booth, his hulking figure providing a funny contrast to the tiny, worn brown leather seat. She didn’t know what to say or do, only to capture his attention quickly before she made this situation worse.

He swallowed hard, jittering his leg. It slammed against the table by accident, sending a small vibration that rattled the coffees. _Fuck_.

_Fuck_ , Rey thought. “So, what brings you here?”

_For the love of god, think of something clever_. “I... I like the coffee here,” he managed, brain racing as if he’d completely a marathon. The awkwardness rose like a layer of fog, shrouding them in an inescapable stifled feeling.

She laughed out loud at this. At him.

He couldn’t care less, not with a laugh like that - a laugh clear and bright as a bell, laden with the sweetness of a songbird. He was composing poems in his head about her when she began to reply to his awful comment.

“I love it here too. But I meant more like, what brings you here this morning? What was I so rude to pull you away from - work?” She tried her hardest to feel at ease, though the guilt of what he may answer with was gnawing away at her.

“Nothing really,” he lied through his teeth. He actually had a rather important meeting with a head of the department in conjunction to his. “I had a meeting but it’s not until later today.”

The guilt twinged, then subsided just a little. “Ooo,” she singsonged. “What kind of meeting?”

This was his chance to seem cool. Ben Solo, the man with the good-paying job that afforded him gourmet coffees every morning and real leather shoes and cool suits. 

“I work at an architectural firm, and I head one of the top departments. More design-focused, aesthetic aspects. I had a meeting with the head of the civil engineering firm that works with us.”

She looked despondently down at her coffee for a moment, and Ben felt his stomach drop in anticipation. “I’m really sorry to keep you from that, actually. It’s kind of rude to bother strangers like that, and I don’t want to hold you up in anyway. I just figured, well, I just, uh...” she trailed off. “I just felt bad for stealing your drink.”

She was unbearably adorable.

Ben shook his head in protest. “No, really, this is nice. much better than dealing with those puny weasels at work. It gets tiring being at the beck and call of others all the time. This let me escape that, if just for a few minutes.”

Rey focused on sending him telepathic messages: _stay with me, you can talk with me all day, I’m already skipping school today_. Maybe he’d answer, but for now, she took a sip of her coffee and replied, “nice.”

They sat quietly for a moment, each taking a cautious sip from their respective cups and setting it back down on the counter.

“Why are you here today?” he asked her in return, gazing at her with those dark eyes in some unreadable expression. She felt again like prey, something small and too weak under him, but god, she wanted him.

“Well, I... I skipped school,” she answered honestly. “It was too nice out to be holed up in a classroom.”

So she was just a kid. Ben internally congratulated and cursed himself for getting his tiny hopes up that a girl that beautiful would ever go for him. There were little signs, too - the slump of her shoulders, the light bags under her eyes, her hand propping up her beautiful face. She was so young, so pure - it felt almost wrong to look at her, as if he may spoil her.

She winced at her own comment. She was just a lovesick high school kid to him. What was she even doing? Annoying a fully grown man on his way to work -

“Like Ferris Bueller.”

She couldn’t help but laugh, and Ben melted at the sound of it. “Yeah, like Ferris Bueller.”

They talked; they fell into ease, a melodious rhythm parallel to the ceaseless waves of a calm ocean. They laughed together, they shared silences and looks and perturbations and risings, they shared awkward moments and moments of intense fusion, of melding of being and of word. Everything felt normal; everything felt strange.

She was a runner for her high school, being scouted by several schools. She was an early riser and a late sleeper, she often tied her hair in buns to keep it out of her face, she had never traveled out of the state. She loved animals and the environment and long walks to get her thoughts out, craved friendship and valued loyalty, was passionate about music and the arts though her heart drifted to science. She didn’t know what she wanted: everything, she hoped, though she knew this couldn’t be. She was a lover and a fighter. She was a complex, simultaneous, rich soul of a girl. Ben had never felt more fascinated, more intrigued by a person. Her stories filled him with an odd kind of warmth he had never quite felt, something that flooded his senses with appreciation and adoration and _hope._ Her eyes gleamed with the light of promise and youth, glistening with boundless dreams and energy with which to fulfill them.

Ben Solo felt jealous.

His focus succumbed to a sinking feeling of despair, something dark and troublesome and painful he did not want to address. He knew it well, and he only hoped that hearing about Rey’s passions would make it subside. If only temporarily.

Their cups were empty long ago, but there came a pause in their conversation that seemed almost deafening to Ben. The feeling had expanded, filled his belly and pounded against his head, and he felt so incredibly stupid for all of this. He rose suddenly, sharply - he knew it as he watched the calm look on Rey’s face disappear. He grabbed both cups, and felt the heat creep back up his neck and into his cheeks.

“I-I’m going to go, uh, throw these away.” The table vibrated as he slid out of the booth seat with force, leaving Rey alone.

Conflicted and confused, she sat there silently and watched this very unfamiliar but somehow so familiar man take away her coffee cup. Her gaze turned toward the window, where the sky seemed to have lost its glow as clouds crashed in.

Ben stood at the edge of the table, looking down at Rey with a sorrowful and pained expression that she could hardly decipher. She rose quickly, sliding out of the seat and standing to face him.

“It was really nice meeting you,” she said softly, looking up into his eyes, brimming with emotion. There was another awkward beat between them as she waited, hopeful, for him to respond.

To that, he held out a hand again.

“It was a pleasure.”

She could tell he was genuine, though he seemed off. Again she took his hand, this time shaking it lightly and then holding it for just a moment too long. Ben glanced at her dainty hand, her touch full of tender beauty and work and passion.

They walked out of the café, heading left down the street. Ben swallowed the lump in his throat, his eyes pricking with tears for reasons he couldn’t place. Rey stared straight ahead, mind racing with every feeling, reeling through every scenario and every moment they shared to pinpoint the second in which she fucked up.

They stopped at a street corner at the demand of the red light. His hand brushed hers, and his eyes finally meeting her gaze. “I have to go left here. For work.”

She nodded. “I’m going to my friend’s house, so I’ll be going right.” 

She said it so matter of factly that he almost began to object. He was sending her messages in his head: _Rey, if you can hear me, please come back to me._

Instead, they exchanged a goodbye, looked each other in the eyes once more, and departed - one left, one right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading and supporting me!!! i'll hopefully have an update within the next two weeks. my twitter is @celestialreylo for anyone kind enough to hear me cry about adam driver.


	2. fire and the thud

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading!! please leave kudos or a comment if you enjoy, i appreciate it so so much. love to you all.

_The day after you stole my heart  
Everything I touched told me it would be better shared with you, with you_

“Fire and the Thud,” Arctic Monkeys

\---

_Rey. Rey rey rey rey._

 

Ben tossed a small, wadded up piece of paper up and down at his desk, rhythmically alternating between catching and throwing as his mind grew preoccupied. The blueprints on his desk and countless emails in his inbox had washed into a blur long ago now, as his visions were filled with the girl in the blue sundress that ran track and loved science.

It had been a few days. Five, to be exact. Monday morning had hit him bright and early as he trudged past the café. He hadn’t stepped inside since he met her - he couldn’t, out of fear or longing or some mixed up feeling he couldn’t quite decipher. He glanced nervously inside when he walked past, curiosity betraying him as he wished for the beautiful ray of sunshine to be staring back at him.

Five days was too long, Rey had decided. She spent her day confused, her brain muddled from the morning as her caretaker scolded her for skipping school. According to Maz’s concerned anger, she was irresponsible, rash, and unable to perceive the consequences of her actions. Rey pondered on this alone in her room, laying in bed and listening only to the heavy April showers beat against her window. Maybe Maz was right. After all, she was now in love with a complete stranger that she had met this morning.

Rey went to school, going through the motions as she always did. She found such joy in having lunch with her best friends Rose and Finn, from finishing her lab experiments and sketching out the composition for her next art piece. They were small treasures, but treasures nonetheless, and these gleaming moments of joy in an otherwise monotonous lens sustained Rey. 

Where she longed to be - where she spent her time alone dreaming about - was actually far from here. Not that she had been anywhere, but the idea itself just sounded so appealing. She loved her friends more than life, loved Maz and the home she had provided for Rey, but there was a burning innate desire to leave - to venture into the unknown. It felt as though something was calling her, and each time she felt hope fill her heart, it soon deflated with the realizations of her limitations. 

One day.

Five days, Ben Solo realized, was too long of a time. He chucked the ball of paper he had been throwing in the garbage nearest his desk, and pulled out a pad of paper. He put pen to paper, scribbling senseless things with blank ink. One after another, he tore the yellow pages and crumpled them up, discouraged by their shared lack of reason. He felt a wave of nausea as he started over and over again:

_Mom,_

_Dear Mom,_

_Hello, this is Ben Solo,_

_To the address of Leia Organa:_

Frustration clouding his mind, he grabbed each torn paper and shoved them into the trash. With a start, he jolted up from his desk, grabbed his belongings, and left in a huff.

She had been cursed by Ben, she thinks. He was all she could see as she slumped in her desk last period of the day, half-awake while her professor droned on about _Hamlet_. She rubbed her drowsy eyes as she tried to focus her vision on the PowerPoint presentation but between her unfulfilled desires and the dim lights in the room, she found herself lost in memories of them meeting, of the sunlight that filtered through the café windows and the lush of his voice, echoing through her mind like some warm fire. The only thing to pull her out of her daze was the ring of the bell, indicating the end of the day. A newfound energy allowed her to spring out of her seat, grabbing her binder and slinging her backpack over her shoulder. 

“Rey, wait up!” 

She turned to find the smiling face of her best friend meeting her. Finn’s joy subsided a little when he noticed the distraction in her eyes.

“Is everything okay?” he asked softly, leaning against the row of lockers as Rey grabbed her jacket and some more of her books. She nodded, failing to muster any audible response as her head spun. He, being her best friend, of course, knew everything was not really okay.

“Let’s do something,” he suggested cheerfully, closing her locker with a _thud_. She slipped on her army green windbreaker and followed side by side with her friend down the hallway, already feeling some of the disquietude fade away. They peeked into the Engineering Club’s classroom to spot Rose fiddling to make a bridge out of bendy straws, appearing just long enough to give her a wave. 

In the rush of the moment, Rey often struggled to ground herself - to remember to appreciate these lovely pockets of time in fondness. Her heart had been mended with the pieces her friends were kind enough to share with her - they loved her, cared for her, protected her. 

Rey had been abandoned plenty of times. But not by them.

So she walked alongside Finn, who kept her mind light with talk of graduation and prom and parties. To remember that Finn and Rose and herself would most likely separate for college wedged a knife in her heart, and to think that she would have to leave Maz both terrified and saddened her. She felt as though on the brink of collapse, but she kept her face brave for Finn, determined to not ruin their time together.

They headed for the city library, one of Rey’s favorite places. When on their way Finn asked if she’d like a coffee, she rejoiced at the thought of caffeine to rouse her from her dreamy state. She insisted she stay outside Coruscant Café this time, however, waiting while Finn ordered her iced mocha by absentmindedly scrolling through her phone. She snuck only a single glance inside the place, half-dreading, half-hoping, that he would be inside.

Ben continued to turn the volume up on his phone, letting the soft musings of Chopin drown out his thoughts. The ache in his chest burned through his every movement as he stormed out the office building and navigated his familiar way back to the café. He needed someone - anyone, but he wanted _her._

_Please be there, Rey. I need you._ He focused his mind on her as he pushed through crowds, dodging the throngs of people the best he could as he rushed to his destination. Another block or so - he had no plan other than to seek her, to find her solace and feel the comfort of her presence. 

He spotted the cream colored sign and the few outside tables, their umbrellas fully opened to block the heat of the spring sun. _Rey, where are you?_ His desperation took hold as he continued cursing himself for being so childish as to think she could read his mind. He scanned the crowd of people outside, enjoying their drinks or chatting with their dates seated across from them. There was a sharp sting in his chest as he pushed open the door, the chime of the bell drawing him back to that day.

He took two strides forward, glancing around nervously and wishing under his breath for any sign of her. 

Rey happily accepted the iced coffee from Finn, poking in the straw and taking a long gulp - a well deserved one. They strolled past the park, where trees full of peachy white blossoms stretched out over the pathway, their petals floating down to reach the pair. 

“What am I gonna do without this place?” Rey gave a small exhale of sadness and glanced up at Finn, whose normal smirk faded to an expression too soft to read.

“It doesn’t matter where we end up, Rey,” he began, pausing to collect his words. “What matters is that we - me and you and Rose - will always be there for each other. You are parts of my heart, I mean that.”

He gave her a sheepish smile - Finn wasn’t one to get sappy all of a sudden, and Rey couldn’t help but giggle at the shift in character. She knew he was right, even just for the moment, that they would all be alright.

“No need to get all lovey-dovey,” she said with the straightest face she could muster. Annoyed but laughing beside himself, he retaliated by grabbing her coffee and holding it up above, just out of her range. She giggled as she jumped, straining to get it back as her fingertips just barely brushed Finn’s extended reach. They turned a corner and found themselves crossing the street to the library, feeling elated and neglecting every gnawing feeling that the future instilled in them.

Ben pushed the door of the café with force, clutching an americano in a to-go cup in the other hand. _You seem like a fucking stalker, relax_ , he internally condemned himself, beginning to feel even more deflated at this afternoon’s incidents. He needed to clear his head somewhere - he had a big project to complete and could feel the deadline creeping up on him each second.

Taking a long sip from his cup, he headed down the street.

Finn spotted their regular seats - two seats across from each other on one end of a long mahogany table, situated between two towering shelves of books. Rey set down her bag in the cushioned chair next to her and pulled out her phone and English notebook, determined to finish some kind of homework despite lacking any motivation to do it. 

“Do you have your copy of _Hamlet_?“ Finn asked, eyeing her minimal set up. When she shook her head he added, “we had to finish reading act IV for homework, and then write the essay on what Mr Isaac said today. Remember, or were you asleep?”

_Asshole_. She stuck out a tongue at him and wandered off to find a spare copy of the play, taking in the comforting atmosphere of the place she practically grew up in, having visited here multiple times a week ever since she was little. Maz would often take her, an energized and over-active kid, to adjust her to a world of silent appreciation, of insight and reflection - Rey normally used that time to doze off as her caretaker would read her short stories softly aloud. Smiling at the memories, Rey darted between bookshelves as she struggled to remember where exactly all the Shakespeare would be.

Ben wandered into the library, eying a quiet spot to finish drafting his blueprints. He spotted an empty table - but upon further realization found a man sitting there and somebody else's’ belongings taking up a seat; as he passed he did a double take at the signature forest green coffee cup sleeve on the now-watery iced coffee, inscribed with the familiar logo of Coruscant Café. His heart did a little leap in his chest as memories of her rushed to his head. _You need to stop._ His conscience struggled to end this, as he tried his best to repress the oh-so-many questions and oh-so-much care about the girl, who with his luck, he would never see again.

Rey stuck a nose in the ancient copy of _Hamlet_ , running her slender fingers over the creamy white pages in attempts to find where they left off in her class. She mumbled a sorry as she brushed past someone, not bothering to cease her venture into Shakespeare’s words as she took her seat across from Finn, who gave an exasperated sigh ( _“What does any of this stuff even mean? Can’t we use Sparknotes or something?"_ ).

Ben cursed his broad shoulders for accidentally bodying anybody below six foot as he crossed to the back stretch of the library. He had always loved buildings like these, where it seemed as though time melted away to produce some parallel but alternate universe. He remembers his mom leading him, his pudgy hands clasped in hers, as he talked her ear off about dinosaurs or Legos or space. In his alternate universe, he thinks, maybe she would stick around for once.

He seated himself at a rounded table, spreading out his work as the empty library hummed with a silent hiss, and tried his best to get lost in his sketches, and not, for the first time in five days, in his past demons or the sunshine girl that had floated into his life. The high windows of the library revealed the gradient of the sunset, falling from a cloudy blue to a rich deep sienna, smoldering like some embers from a burnt out fire.

Ben Solo was dedicated to other things - his job, his nice apartment, poetry, music, gourmet coffees. Not pretty girls way out of his league. _You’re not in love_ echoed through his mind, despite it sounding more doubtful than reassuring. _You’re not in love_ , though as he glanced up every once in a while from the designs, Ben thought he caught a glimpse of short brown hair that disappeared out of the library, into the dark outside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks again for reading!! i'll be posting updates hopefully weekly or bi-weekly. i wanted to fully develop both rey and ben's lives outside of each other, but i'm pretty sure they'll meet up again soon. stupid coincidences. much love ♡


	3. golden hour

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a quick little transition chapter! thank you all so much for reading and being kind about my first fic, it really just feels good to start writing again and i love developing the dynamic between these two awkward lovebirds. thank you and enjoy!!
> 
> here's my first[ moodboard](https://celestialreylo.tumblr.com/image/174498889220) for this fic to properly set up your feels ♡

  
_Well I'm looking and you kept staring_  
_Your thoughts pairing up with mine_  
_And when you're so pretty and I'm so shy_  
_You probably didn't give me the eye but I'm sure you did_

 

“7,” Arctic Monkeys  


\---  
  
Friday afternoon: she’s perched on a park bench, alone, knees brought up to her chin as a sketchbook perfectly balances against them. There’s some quick gesture lines, but nothing _sticks_ . Rey releases an exasperated little sigh as she fiddles with the frayed edges of the holes in her jeans, drowning out her yearnings with a track by The Smiths currently blaring through her headphones. She flipped through her last few pages, plastered in all sorts of studies and sketches and color theories, to collect some inspiration, but nothing came to her except thoughts of _him_.

  
Rey had just started to actively forget about the incident, too - she had filled her week with hanging out with Finn and Rose, cramming for finals and getting back into her art. It was working, in some capacity, as she hadn’t dwelled on those dark eyes for more than a moment or two. Until now, that is.  
  
She put her pen to the page.  
  
_He wasn’t even that special_ . Hand resting against the page, Rey’s face scrunched ever-so-slightly in concentration. _There have been so many cute waiters and cashiers and people on the bus._ The pen glided with almost an air of knowledge, seemingly hyper aware of Rey’s subconscious. _He’s too old for you anyway. And probably is not interested in silly high school girls._

  
She bit her lip as she realized that her sketch had taken the form of Ben’s eyes, and gingerly flipped a page.  
  
_Focus. Something else, anything else_ . Her eyes of hazel scanned the lush greenery of the park, and focused on a couple sitting side by side on a picnic blanket, shrouded in a heavenly halo of light that gleamed through the trees. Their backs turned to her, she sketched their far away silhouettes in the grass, trying to capture their youth in the moment.  
  
Ben’s instincts raced to scowl at the happy couple on the ground as he spotted their fingers laced together in a mutual fondness.  _That should be you,_  his head gave a somber taunt as Ben strode through the park on his way back from work. He had taken the long way today - the feeling that comes from sunshine and fresh air offered him a special kind of comfort that his money and job couldn’t provide for him.  
  
Rey’s view of the couple became obscured for just a second by some large figure, and so she paused to determine the outlines of the woman from the back. Her eyes immediately trailed to the man that has passed by her peripheral unscathed, the one wearing well fitting pants and a crisp white button up, sleeves pushed up to the elbows to combat the heat. Rey felt herself leap from her seat as she recognized the shock of the black hair.  
  
“Ben!”  
  
She began to overthink the exclamation as soon as it left her mouth. He didn’t turn around, run over or scoop her up bridal style, planting kisses all over her face.  
  
_Nope_ . He kept walking down the path that cut through the park, down to Naboo Avenue. The decision in her head splitting at its seams, she decided against any reason and instead left her belongings behind as she jogged up beside him.  
  
“ _Ben_ ,” she said breathlessly, tapping his shoulder. He turned with a frightful force, his expression weary before melting into a warm smile. Rey felt her heart sing as he looked at her with such joy. “Hi, Ben.”  
  
“What are you doing here?” he asked, the corners of his mouth quirking up.  
  
She pointed to the bench some ways behind her, where her sketchbook and backpack were abandoned. Ben felt dizzy again, cloudy with an elated sense of happiness that he hadn’t experienced in quite some time: something larger than him, as if the universe had pulled its own strings to get him where he was. He was transfixed by the gleam in her golden eyes, radiating with such a genuine excitement. _No one_ had ever been excited about him like this.  
  
“Did you want to sit?” she offered, glancing back at the bench built for two. “Or, I mean, if you were going somewhere, don’t let me hold you up-”  
  
She was cut off by Ben, who raised a hand and grinned. “I’d love to, I’m just heading home for the day. It was such a beautiful afternoon, I couldn’t really resist.”  
  
Rey, relieved and still bewildered, bobbed her head happily as she agreed with him, though she noticed he said it rather sheepishly, as if embarrassed. She moved her backpack to make room for him, frantically trying to shove her sketchbook in there so he wouldn’t —  
  
_Take it._ He placed a large palm on the page, resisting her feeble struggles to put it away. “Are these yours?”  
  
Rey sighed as she handed the sketchbook over to him, already opened. He accepted it delicately, the mood of his face completely altered as he very gently thumbed through the pages of her work, her doodles and paintings and notes - a piece of her, exposed to him. She felt almost vulnerable, and swinging her feet aimlessly in anticipation of what he might say.  
  
His voice dropped low and quiet as a rush of emotion washing over him. He lingered on a page a little long, tracing his thumb over the crisp white paper for just a moment - to her embarrassment, it was the page of his eyes, developed from her memory in sketchy lines of black, some curves longer, twisting around while others were furiously dashed or sensitively set. She had poured her absent-minded devotion into it, and from what she noticed, he seemed to have realized.  
  
“You really did all of this?”  
  
She nodded, adding in a quick interjection - “Most of them. A few I traced or did from observation, but only for practice. Mostly all of it is mine.” She snuck an eager look up at his face, still buried thoughtfully in her sketchbook.  
  
“They’re _incredible_ ,” he answered decidedly, his voice resolute but dry, as if he was holding back. Rey felt her cheeks flush despite that as he continued on - “really, you are so talented.”  
  
The silence that followed this was thickened by the rush of leaves in the wind, blowing with such a sneakily violent breeze that rustled the back of Rey’s hair. Ben felt her moments carefully as she fidgeted slightly, looking down at the ground and her untied shoe in attempts to avoid looking him in the eye. _Come on, you gotta do something. Not this again._  
  
He was right. The stupid, moronic voice in his head was right.  
  
“Would you, uh,” he trailed off, clueless at what exactly to say. He knew what he wanted, he thought - a chance to see her again, to talk to her, to take her out to coffee or a movie or a walk. Just as a friend. Nothing more than a companionship - acquaintances, even. Friends by chance.  
  
Rey laughed the same darling little laugh that warmed his core. “You...” she tried, doing her best to jog his memory, to finish his sentences.  
  
“I-I want to see you again.”  
  
Her heart felt like it would burst from her ribcage. _He wants to see you. You._  
  
“I mean,” he rambled on, “if that’s okay with you. If it’s not, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be pushy and-”  
  
“I would love to do that. Do you, um,” she struggled to phrase this politely, “have a cellphone?”  
  
His head fell back in laughter. She was alarmed, though she took it as a relieved yes. _He was what, like 40? How was she supposed to know?_

  
“Of course I do,” Ben started. “What about it?”  
  
_Oh my god,_ Rey gave another internal laugh.  
  
_Oh my god, you are so stupid,_ Ben kicked himself mentally.  
  
“Would you like my number?” Rey asked shyly, fearing the rejection that happily never came as he vigorously shook his head yes. Ben watched with a quiet awe as this angel took his phone in her tiny hands, typing in her contact information for _him_ . _Still just a gangly weird loser._ “Here you go,” she handed the phone back, and as he grinned at the bright screen brimming with what felt like a new hope.  
  
The sun was setting low across the sky, deepening into a brilliant gradient of orange and pink; Ben and Rey sat together in a comfortable silence, looking at the surroundings of the dying evening - there was not much to talk about, no urgency to fill the gaps with nonsense, just a resounding peace shared between them in the drowsy haze of a swelling dusk. He didn’t want to leave - not now, not ever - and yet he knew he would leave, just like he would always have to. Leave and go home, alone, go to sleep alone, call nobody, hide from his own fears and family and past that he had smothered.  
  
Rey was granted a pensive moment - a rare occurrence in her ever-buzzing brain. A moment, shared between her and the sky and _Ben_ , and for a fleeting moment in the landscape of her life, she felt still. All the turbulence life threw her way, whether in the form of her no-good parents or subpar school experience or her own naive shortcomings, all of it seemed to soften as if some harshness had been stripped away; it was a feeling she would gladly embrace after so long.

 

Ben placed a hand on the bench, startling Rey as he jolted into an upright position, snapped out of some trace. “I have to go,” he started, but upon looking at Rey again - this sweet angel again - his voice faltered. Both standing now, as the hush of golden hour fell upon them, she looked up at the pair of impossibly dark eyes, flushed with an indecipherable spark of emotion that eluded her.  


He picked up her hand again, clasping its smooth form in his own and studying it tenderly, trying to remember every curve and freckle and callous in fears he would never see her again. He would be alright, he thinks, if only he could talk to her. A strange feeling, yes, but one so sudden and strong that one fails to suppress it.

 

Rey’s blood was churning as he traced a thumb this time over her own hands, which she hoped were not sweating as she held onto his own for what felt like an eternity. An eternity with Ben sounded like a surreal dream, one that you can only wish for. _I wish to be with you,_ her mind sent signals as she allowed herself a smile.

 

“I’ll be in touch with you,” she said quietly, meeting Ben’s eyes. “I promise.”

 

“Good. That’s a promise you better keep, then,” the storms of his emotions subsided just long enough to make him laugh. “Don’t get me too excited for nothing.”

 

The expression on Rey’s face radiated absolute delight as she answered: “I told you, I promise I will. I keep all my promises.”

 

Ben stopped himself short of his movements, and instead squeezed her hand a little tighter, grinned, and continued down his intended path, straight toward Naboo Avenue.

 

To avoid a lecture about staying out late from Maz, Rey shouted about her love for her caretaker, sprinted up to her bedroom, slammed the door and pulled out her phone. She held the cellphone up above her head as she sprawled out across her bed, snuggled up in the soft blankets that she wished she was sharing with somebody else. No new notifications. Yet.

 

_A waiting game. I can do this._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i appreciate all the kudos and comments, they seriously motivate me so much to write more so thank you for that!! my twitter is @celestialreylo if you wanna give me a follow.


	4. companion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry ive been so busy and good for so long!!! ben and rey think they're just as awkward over text as they are in person. i hope you enjoy, if you do please leave me comments and kudos!!! this fic is really personal to me and it's just fun to write anything, but it's so rewarding and kind when i get support. love you all

_I've been trying to figure out exactly what it is I need_

_Called up to listen to the voice of reason_

_And got his answering machine_

_I left my message, but did he fuck get back to me_

_And now I'm stuck, still wondering how it's meant to be_  
  
“Reckless Serenade,” Arctic Monkeys

——  
  
Rey isn’t at good at waiting as she thought.  
  
For two nights now, she found herself obsessing over her phone - it was constantly in her hands when it hadn’t been before, her eyes felt compulsively glued to its dim glow, she felt it vibrate when it actuality, it hadn’t. For two nights she had slumped on her bed, tossing around in the dark as she waited for some kind of _ding_ that would lift her spirits.  
  
Ben eyed his phone from across the room, the gleam of its black screen staring menacingly back at him. _Just text her, you moron_ . It seemed so easy, but though he had typed out a total of eight messages to her throughout the course of two days, each ending up erased before they were sent. Any courage that rose within him faltered as he considered hitting send, as if the darling girl would tease him or hate him or worse: ignore him. And here he was, watching the twinkling of traffic through his bedroom windows, deeply involved in a staring contest with his phone as it taunted him. He exhaled reluctantly as he gave up the fight, getting up from his position on his bed to deal with his own devil.  
  
Rey bit her nails absentmindedly, gnawing away at her feeble attempts at nail polish as she waited impatiently for contact. Of course she had to give him _her_ number and not vice versa. _As if you would have texted him first, scaredy cat_ . Rose had invited her out, but even ice cream failed to quell the discontent growing in the pit of her stomach. She finally caved, her eyes fluttering closed as she slipped into sleep.  
  
“What am I even supposed to say?” Ben spoke aloud, a result of the growing frustration in his stupid non-flirtatious bones. The contact page glared back at him as he imagined the young girl’s face cross with a justifiable pissed-off pout, causing him both to grin and take action.  
  
His fingers began to meet the keys.  
  
Rey snored her normal sweet snores, something utterly precious but nonetheless loud. She didn’t stir when her phone broke its silence, lighting up to reveal a “Hi, Rey.”  
  
Ben, on the other hand, had panicked.  
  
In a frenzy caused by his own two words, he felt his heart thumping loudly against his ribcage, begging to break out. He groaned, tossing his phone onto his bed and rubbing his hands over his eyes. All he wanted was to make a friend, and of course he came off like some kind of weird _creep_ . He didn’t even blame her for not texting back - he wouldn’t text back a grown man that is simultaneously an epic failure at communicating with pretty women either. He pushed the phone onto his nightstand, flicked off the lamp, and collapsed into his bed with a disgruntled scowl.  
  
——  
  
Morning. It was the birds that woke Rey up today, warbling their strange songs to one another. “Fucking birds,” she mumbled, turning over in bed and pulling her covers over her head in a feeble attempt to drown them out. The shrill alarm sounded only a moment later, however - Rey felt like breaking her phone. _Useless piece of shit, why do I even have a phone number if I can’t even get one guy to t-_

  
Her scrolling was cut short. The familiar green bubble popped up.  
  
_Hi, Rey._  
  
She froze in place. Astounded, in awe, excited, nervous - she failed to react in any sort of immediate manner. Her mouth hung open slightly as she blinked, mind reeling with the thought of what had happened.  
  
“Hey” was all she could manage before letting out an excited little shriek.  
  
She didn’t think in a million years that she would be lucky enough to get the number of a hot older man, but here she was. Rey scoffed a bewildered sort of scoff, and started getting ready for school, her phone burning a hole in her bed as it stayed silent.  
  
—  
  
She answered.  
  
He had texted her, and she _fucking answered_.

 

“No shit, moron,” he cursed to himself out loud, groaning. Karma, Ben assures himself, is the reason for all of this happening. He must have been a saint in a past life to have deserved this.  
  
He decided, before he did something stupid again, to take a hot shower. It was hotter than normal, as if he enjoyed searing his skin, and he winced only slightly at the pain as he eased himself in. All he desired was to wipe the image of her from his brain, and yet she clouded every bad thought, provided a silver lining of light and love. She was his first thought, his best thought.  
  
_She’s also just a kid._

  
He shook his head, antsy to finish up before his thoughts roamed elsewhere: sex or sadness, one of the two.  
  
Mass of black curls sopping wet, he stepped out of the shower, tied a towel around his waist, and picked up the phone.  
  
—  
  
Second period. Rey leaned a head against her locker, staring down at her phone as she waited for Rose to meet her. With their senior prom the following Saturday, the school buzzed with a particular energy that Rey couldn’t help but be infected with. She, Rose and Finn were all going together as friends, as they always did to homecoming dances and events of the sort. She had felt a little awkward turning down two boys that had asked her, but it was the way things are: the three of them together, though Finn and Rose had expressed regret and a “are you dumb?” when they learned she had declined their offers. The fact that she had talked to Ben at all surprised her - she was never the one to overstep her bounds and had never been truly interested in any sort of romance. Her cheeks flushed as she remembered her, ah, _inappropriate_ thoughts about Ben before they had spoken.  
  
It’s okay, she reminded herself, because they would just be friends, if that at all. She hoped.  
  
“Hiii,” Rose singsonged, leaning up next to her best friend. Rey sighed and slung her backpack over her shoulder, turning into the crowded hallway with Rose, both fighting to get a spot in the current. “What’s wrong now?” Rose mused, grinning despite Rey’s apparent annoyance.  
  
“It’s nothing,” she lied, shoving her phone into the back pocket of her jeans as they walked into the gym together.  
  
—-  
  
Ben arrived late to work that day. A distracted mess, his lack of phone activity caused him to lose all grip on time, and only a voicemail from a very annoyed Hux made him realize his mistake.  
  
“Good morning,” Hux sneered at him. _Little bitch_.

  
“Yea, morning to you too,” Ben grumbled, storming past him and into his office. While he loved his job, the constant berating from a man who, let it be known, didn’t even work in the same department as Ben did, was infuriating to a tipping point. He sighed as he glanced at his office - walls a bare light grey, his desk empty save for his laptop, a few important documents, a tiny clock and his coffee cup. Minimalistic, he’d told himself, but he really didn’t have much decoration to display anyway.  
  
Ben Solo had spent most of his life pushing things away: his family, his thoughts, his potential relationships. He could push away an attachment to his job with ease at this point. He did it as he always did, working on his projects and eating his same lunch and wanting another coffee and to curl up in bed. Today felt no different, except for one thing.  
  
_The girl_ . He hadn’t answered the girl.  
  
_What do you have to lose?_

  
“I’m gonna regret this,” Ben whispered as he returned to the message thread. He ran his finger across the screen, remembering that she _wanted_ to talk to him and she sketched his eyes and _wow she was pretty._

  
He began typing, first with hesitation, each letter feeling like an extension to a death sentence, until it flowed so easily that Ben found himself running out of room.  
  
—-  
  
Her eyes widened.  
  
“I have to, uh, go,” Rey stammered as she faced Finn and Rose at the end of the day. They flashed her an identical set of puzzled expressions as she grabbed her things from her locker and darted out of school, phone clutched tightly to her chest. She felt like a silly schoolgirl, and _damn it_ maybe she was, but the anticipation of five new messages from the number she saved as Ben’s? Justifiable.  
  
“HiMazLoveYouBye,” she breathed out in one strand as she sprinted up the stairs, her track legs aiding her in her struggle. Slammed door, backpack flung off, windbreaker discarded, she was ready.  


_Hi._

_I hope this is the right number._

_  
_ _Please don’t prank me, that would really be mean._

 _  
_ _If this is Rey, tell me all about your day. I’m stuck at work and I want to hear it._

 __  
_If this isn’t Rey, kindly fuck off._  


Breathless, she giggled at the last text. She was Rey. He wanted to hear about _her_ day and no one else’s.

 

Her fingers hovered over the keyboard.  


_this is rey_

_good thing i don’t have to fuck off_

_school was tiring_

 

All three messages flew out right after the other, and Rey had to restrain herself from immediately sending more. A minute passed, and then another. She locked her phone, opened it again, scrolls through the missed notifications, checked the messages once more.

 

Nothing.

 

Nothing to worry about. He’s stuck at work. Now all we have to do is wait for him to answer.

 

She was reassured immediately by the screen lighting up once more.

 

_Are you home now, sleepy?_

 

She pressed her phone to her heart. _He’s gonna kill me._

 

_——_

  


Ben twirled around in his desk chair, a spoon of yogurt hanging out of his mouth, eyes glued to his phone. The work open his desktop was minimized, and his brain so unfocused on it that it was as though it wasn’t there. His head was brimming with thoughts of Rey, her sleepy pouty face and what she would look like curled up in his bed.

 

“ _Ahem,”_ a voice cleared loudly behind him. Ben’s least favorite redhead slinked into the room, examining his setup.

 

“What do you,” Ben licked more yogurt off his spoon, “want?”

 

Hux sneered at him and brushed a strand of red hair back into its over-gelled style. “The boss wants your latest project submitted now.”

 

“Now?”

 

“Now,” he spat. “At latest, by tonight.”

 

Ben heaved a sigh as Hux left the room, slamming the door behind him. His eyes trailed back to his phone, which he reluctantly tucked into a desk drawer in order to focus.

 

His phone buzzed three more times before he couldn’t handle it anymore.

 

_im home now_

_and wide awake thank u very much_

_why is work so boring??_

 

He felt like a little kid grinning at his phone, but he supposed it was better than feeling like a total loser. _At least she was answering._

 

His gaze darted between the blueprints open on his computer, countless emails from clients racking up, and the phone where the sweetest girl in the universe was actively speaking to him, and found his choice to be pretty easy.

 

_My boss and the other department heads are demanding._

_And they’re also assholes._

_I have a big project to do tonight and no time or energy to do it._

 

The grey bubble popped up, indicating that she was typing back.

 

_you can do it i believe in you_

_sorry that your coworkers suck_

_could i do anything to help_

 

His throat grew dry. He stared at the screen, at the blank slate of endless possibilities: she could come to the office, come over his apartment, maybe get ice cream or coffee or dinner - _jesus,_ anything with her and him was the greatest scenario he could imagine. Another message popped up.

 

_?_

 

He had to answer. _Pull it together, Ben, for once in your fucked up adult life._

 

_——_

 

Rey was, to put it lightly, eager.

 

She was still struggling to wrap her head around the fact that Ben was speaking to her, and moreover that he was _still_ speaking to her after meeting her awkward self twice.

 

She laid on her side in bed, nestled under a sea of blankets, donning only a sweatshirt and fuzzy socks as her outfit of choice. For once in her life she felt things slowing down, the experiences taking their time as she waited for his response and for her mind to calm down.

 

It was a nice distraction. Nothing more, nothing to get too excited about. But there were bigger things to worry about, more important things to focus on - her prom, graduation, college, her friends leaving. And the constant repression of her past - of her mother, her father, of how she was left alone and abandoned.

 

Rey closed her eyes and breathed deeply, something Maz had taught her to do well while on the edge of crisis. Her phone vibrated in her hand, and her eyes fluttered open.

 

_I don’t need anything. Thank you though._

_Maybe you could just keep me company._

 

Rey beamed.

 

_i’ll be here_

_what kind of project is it?_

 

_——_

 

_A particularly annoying one. A building design, but there’s a lot of engineers and planners checking up on me. They’re disagreeing with a lot of my plans._

_I had some really great visions for it, but now I just want it over and done with._

_Too much of a hassle and too much focus for me to care._

 

_——_

 

_why are you having trouble focusing_

_if it’s your only project and all_

_maybe you need some caffeine_

 

_——_

 

_I can’t really get into that._

_But you’re right, I’m extremely caffeine deprived. I think it’s been a whole six hours since I had any coffee._

 

_——_

 

Can’t get into that? Rey hesitated to respond as her finger tapped against her phone, trying to think. This was her moment - she could save the day and bring him a coffee, and maybe she’d get a hug or a kiss or an invitation to marry him or —

 

_Do you want to see the designs?_

 

“Fuck,” she mumbled as she watched the opportunity seized from her.

 

 _of course,_ she replied, kicking herself internally to stop lusting over him

 

——

 

Friends show each other their work projects, right? Ben needed something, _anything,_ to keep himself from straight up asking this girl out. He struggled to keep his cool as his fantasies of coffee dates and ice skating and sunflower fields clouded his mind. Changing the subject might have helped.

 

Feeling like a dumbass, he positioned his phone above his blueprints on his desk and snapped a picture. Sending it, he reclined in his chair, spun around once more, and continued to reevaluate his possibly poor decisions.

 

_you designed that??_

_it looks so cool_

 

His head felt warm, but he found this significantly easier than talking in person, where his god awful timing and bad traits would betray him and ruin his chances of ever being little more than a strange acquaintance.

 

Yes, this is what companionship must be like. Conversation with others where it was, dare he say it, enjoyable? And he looked forward to what she would say or do next, clinging onto her very words and searching for answers and questions that faltered on her lips?

 

Friends. _We are friends,_ he reminded himself harshly.

 

_Thank you._

_Enough about me, though. Tell me about your day._

_Why was school so tiring exactly?_

 

\----

 

_same reason work is boring for you_

_too much of a hassle_

_too annoying_

_too draining_

_and sad_

 

Rey could feel herself beginning to vent, and her fingers unable to stop it.

 

_sorry i didnt mean to sound so pessimistic_

 

\----

 

_You aren’t. What’s wrong exactly?_

 

There was a stifled gap. One of silence and hesitation.

 

_You can tell me._

 

\----

Rey’s grasp on her cellphone tightened in her palms as she steadied her breathing. Through the tears that welled up in her eyes, she began to type.

 

She told him all of it.

 

Everything about Finn and Rose, how dearly she loved them. Her fear of them leaving, of school ending, of having them leave the only comfortable place in her life. That she had never felt emotions quite as strong as these over the past few months, and that the sadness felt crushing and the fear felt alive with energy. She typed and typed and sent more and more until she had nothing else to say about it.

 

She could only cry.

 

She cried until she couldn’t anymore, and then drifted off to sleep.

 

Her phone buzzed a few more times.

 

_You will not be in this place forever, and there will always be better days._

_There’s someone out there that will come for you._

_But for now, hold onto those good moments and treasure them._

_I assume you’re asleep but, but thank you for your company today. I really appreciate it._

_Talk to me again soon._

_Sleep tight._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> follow my twitter: @celestialreylo !!!


End file.
